Tom, an old friend, horror fan and social worker (of some variety or other) is the first person to give feedback on the script.
He has some good points.
He sees it from the perspective of someone who works with underprivileged kids, or rather social misfit kids and his experiences in that field tie directly in to some of the aspects of the script. We went through the logic of the situation and he brought up some insightful comments to do with how the scenario would actually work in the real world, ie: not how it happens in the script.
He also knows his movies and his genre stuff in particular and he felt that sometimes I'd veered to much in to 'movie' territory.
There is a character in 'Jerusalem' that is basically a masked 'slasher'. A Jason Voorhees type called TAGGER. He doesn't last long and isn't in anyway the focus for the film but his inclusion does lead the script towards a more traditional horror movie. Tom is of the opinion that we should highlight the more Shane Meadows-y elements and give the film a more real world feel. He's probably right.
As I suspected the main criticism so far of the script is about the characters being under developed. This also is true. I think it's more the fact that some are better realised than others that makes the secondary characters seem weak.
Another thing that has been thrown up is that people can't tell who the main character is meant to be. That is great. You're really not meant to. There are several candidates for who's going to make it to the end of the movie but you're never really sure who's going to survive. Hopefully this adds tension. Also it could mean that the script lacks focus, I'll wait and see what everyone else thinks first before I dive back in to the script but already I've got a plethora of new ideas to work with.
Tuesday 17 February 2009
Thursday 12 February 2009
Limbo
Dave printed up a few copies of the script which he has distributed to various pertinent people including our friend and part-time rock star Paul, whom we hope will eventually score the movie for us. That is if he even likes the script, of course. Why worry about the score so early?
One of the things we're aiming for to get this show on the road is to have a complete package to present to any studio/investors. This means that not only will we need to have a perfect script but also a marketing strategy, a solid vision for the production, the above mentioned score and any other resources we can muster to help the film whether it be in the form of actors, press links, funding, director...the whole shebang.
The script at the moment has on it's title page credits for writer (myself), producer (Dave) and Director (Damien Wasylkiw)
It's not enough just to bring a script to a studio and say 'We want to make this, where's my cash?' and hope they're blown away by the sheer awesomeness of the hundred or so pages in front of them. In fact we're not trying to sell a script, we want to sell a movie before it's even made. They have to believe that this is something they can get behind and if we demonstrate that 'Jerusalem' is something we can see through to completion and beyond in the most professional manner, then we have an advantage. I feel this is the best way to go forward, it's a lot easier to commit to something you know others believe in.
M. Night Shyamalan famously sent out the script for The Sixth Sense with a million dollar price tag attached to it. He was right to do so and it paid off.
'Bad Day On Jerusalem Hill' is not the Sixth Sense, it was never intended to be of that scope or... quality. It's a stripped down (although maybe not as stripped down as it needs to be yet) '70's style thriller working in the confines of an established genre with a few novel twists thrown in. But ultimately it's designed to be a money making, fun exploitation movie and any reassurance we can give that we intend to deliver on that, the better.
I intend to start pre-production before we've even finalised the script. I'll be applying my limited artistic skills to storyboarding a few key sequences, this added with the hundreds of location photos we have and extra scripts for webisodes and other support elements we have a sound base from which to launch our offensive on the cinema going public.
One of the things we're aiming for to get this show on the road is to have a complete package to present to any studio/investors. This means that not only will we need to have a perfect script but also a marketing strategy, a solid vision for the production, the above mentioned score and any other resources we can muster to help the film whether it be in the form of actors, press links, funding, director...the whole shebang.
The script at the moment has on it's title page credits for writer (myself), producer (Dave) and Director (Damien Wasylkiw)
It's not enough just to bring a script to a studio and say 'We want to make this, where's my cash?' and hope they're blown away by the sheer awesomeness of the hundred or so pages in front of them. In fact we're not trying to sell a script, we want to sell a movie before it's even made. They have to believe that this is something they can get behind and if we demonstrate that 'Jerusalem' is something we can see through to completion and beyond in the most professional manner, then we have an advantage. I feel this is the best way to go forward, it's a lot easier to commit to something you know others believe in.
M. Night Shyamalan famously sent out the script for The Sixth Sense with a million dollar price tag attached to it. He was right to do so and it paid off.
'Bad Day On Jerusalem Hill' is not the Sixth Sense, it was never intended to be of that scope or... quality. It's a stripped down (although maybe not as stripped down as it needs to be yet) '70's style thriller working in the confines of an established genre with a few novel twists thrown in. But ultimately it's designed to be a money making, fun exploitation movie and any reassurance we can give that we intend to deliver on that, the better.
I intend to start pre-production before we've even finalised the script. I'll be applying my limited artistic skills to storyboarding a few key sequences, this added with the hundreds of location photos we have and extra scripts for webisodes and other support elements we have a sound base from which to launch our offensive on the cinema going public.
Friday 6 February 2009
The End of Days
We're approaching the end.
A quick overhaul of the script with Dave brought up an interesting new way to present a scene adding a bit of humour. We also slipped a few 'social commentary' bits in to the script that had been left out for reasons of fluidity of story telling, but Dave found a way to reintegrate them with minimum fuss.
So thanks to Dave then.
I'm still a bit iffy about some of the dialogue, but we still have a long way still to sort it out.
The first draft (the real first draft) is looking good though. Good enough that we can send it to a few people we know in the buisness to get a rough idea as to what we should be doing with it.
I'll give them a few weeks to read it then I expect a complete and unrelenting barrage of critisism hurled this way. Of course that's a good thing. I'm not worried about getting negative critisism, it's more the prospect of having to follow up on any insightful comments I get and having to rewrite a script I've spent ages on. Sheesh. It's a lot of work.
It'll be good to get the thing out there and read by people, it almost feels like it's getting published.
In the mean time I'll be starting on a new script. I need to have a break from this one for a bit (although I doubt that I'll get the chance) and replenish my creativity - a new project seems like the best way to do that.
I've had a few ideas swilling round my skull for a while, some more concrete than others (have you tried swilling concrete...not fun), see which you think is best:
Laser Massacre at Nudey Beach:
A Cormanesque beach party/alien invasion movie with entirely nude cast.
Eat The Rich:
Surreal anti consumerist fable in the style of early Bunuel with a dash of Larry Cohen.
Perseverence:
Child goes on a killing spree to avenge the death of her mother...or does she? A road movie version of Get Carter with a mild supernatural twist.
The Retreat:
My long gestating hard sci-fi ghost story without ghosts. Like the Andromeda Strain meets 2001: a Space Odessey meets Ju-on... with an entirely nude cast. Except for the nudity.
I've just printed 'Bad Day On Jerusalem Hill' out so I can 'idiot check' it, then it's off in to the cold uncaring world for you little script. Come back safely.
A quick overhaul of the script with Dave brought up an interesting new way to present a scene adding a bit of humour. We also slipped a few 'social commentary' bits in to the script that had been left out for reasons of fluidity of story telling, but Dave found a way to reintegrate them with minimum fuss.
So thanks to Dave then.
I'm still a bit iffy about some of the dialogue, but we still have a long way still to sort it out.
The first draft (the real first draft) is looking good though. Good enough that we can send it to a few people we know in the buisness to get a rough idea as to what we should be doing with it.
I'll give them a few weeks to read it then I expect a complete and unrelenting barrage of critisism hurled this way. Of course that's a good thing. I'm not worried about getting negative critisism, it's more the prospect of having to follow up on any insightful comments I get and having to rewrite a script I've spent ages on. Sheesh. It's a lot of work.
It'll be good to get the thing out there and read by people, it almost feels like it's getting published.
In the mean time I'll be starting on a new script. I need to have a break from this one for a bit (although I doubt that I'll get the chance) and replenish my creativity - a new project seems like the best way to do that.
I've had a few ideas swilling round my skull for a while, some more concrete than others (have you tried swilling concrete...not fun), see which you think is best:
Laser Massacre at Nudey Beach:
A Cormanesque beach party/alien invasion movie with entirely nude cast.
Eat The Rich:
Surreal anti consumerist fable in the style of early Bunuel with a dash of Larry Cohen.
Perseverence:
Child goes on a killing spree to avenge the death of her mother...or does she? A road movie version of Get Carter with a mild supernatural twist.
The Retreat:
My long gestating hard sci-fi ghost story without ghosts. Like the Andromeda Strain meets 2001: a Space Odessey meets Ju-on... with an entirely nude cast. Except for the nudity.
I've just printed 'Bad Day On Jerusalem Hill' out so I can 'idiot check' it, then it's off in to the cold uncaring world for you little script. Come back safely.
Tuesday 3 February 2009
Hiro to zero and back again
I'm watching 'Heroes' which has just started it's 3rd (4th?) series, despite it being one of the worst shows broadcast. It's not bad just because of it's unrealised potential (the first series had so much promise) but also because it's just so poorly written. Inexcusably shit. The two head writers were recently fired which bodes well, but whoever picks up the reigns has to really learn to polish a turd.
Wouldn't that be fun?
Take an established franchise and mess stuff up?
I'm possibly the only person who actively enjoyed Rob Zombie's complete overhaul of 'Halloween' - way to make that movie your own Rob. He added his own auteur - ship to the basic Mike Myers story by making him trailer trash, to many people's annoyance.
Fincher got an equal amount of fan ire over Alien 3 when he killed all of the cast of the previous two films (and kudos to Wheadon for making a believable return for at least one of them).
Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself here (infact I am very much so) but I really want to mess up 'Jerusalem'. Okay - I haven't even locked down the first draft yet, but I'm already getting ideas as to where the follow up should go. I say follow up because I can see the next movie being a paraquel and a sequel and a prequel - and something else entirely. Much like between the first two Mad Max movies there was a nuclear war (plot twist or what?) we need a game changer for Jerusalem 2.
So I'm going to sow the seeds of a sequel in this current script. Not overtly, as it needs to stand on it's own with no loose threads, but I'll make reference at certain points throughout the story of a much larger thing going on behind the scenes. If the ideas ultimately never come to fruition none will be the wiser as it'll never impact your viewing pleasure, however if this second story is ever made I'll have already laid down the foundations for it. This convieniently solves a problem I was having with one of the main characters and specifically what her fate was to be or even if she should be written out.
Maxine you have a stay of execution and your very own after - credits sequence. Lucky you.
Wouldn't that be fun?
Take an established franchise and mess stuff up?
I'm possibly the only person who actively enjoyed Rob Zombie's complete overhaul of 'Halloween' - way to make that movie your own Rob. He added his own auteur - ship to the basic Mike Myers story by making him trailer trash, to many people's annoyance.
Fincher got an equal amount of fan ire over Alien 3 when he killed all of the cast of the previous two films (and kudos to Wheadon for making a believable return for at least one of them).
Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself here (infact I am very much so) but I really want to mess up 'Jerusalem'. Okay - I haven't even locked down the first draft yet, but I'm already getting ideas as to where the follow up should go. I say follow up because I can see the next movie being a paraquel and a sequel and a prequel - and something else entirely. Much like between the first two Mad Max movies there was a nuclear war (plot twist or what?) we need a game changer for Jerusalem 2.
So I'm going to sow the seeds of a sequel in this current script. Not overtly, as it needs to stand on it's own with no loose threads, but I'll make reference at certain points throughout the story of a much larger thing going on behind the scenes. If the ideas ultimately never come to fruition none will be the wiser as it'll never impact your viewing pleasure, however if this second story is ever made I'll have already laid down the foundations for it. This convieniently solves a problem I was having with one of the main characters and specifically what her fate was to be or even if she should be written out.
Maxine you have a stay of execution and your very own after - credits sequence. Lucky you.
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